When I started recapping MCU movies a few years ago, I didn't really
anticipate just how much work that was going to entail. Fifteen recaps
later I'm debating whether I should quit now while I still have most of my
sanity or accept that I will have to recap at least two miniseries AS WELL
AS the next probably fifteen more movies. While I decide that, I've been
reading and researching a LOT in an effort to better understand the Marvel
universe and at least some of its characters. Along the way, I've been
gaining new understanding of the things I already recapped and realized
that I might need to make a few corrections or clarifications. Rather than
try to address them all within recaps, I thought I would do that here in
the new format I will be using for recaps from now on (long story).
Let's start with a post I did back in 2019 (which feels like ages ago)
regarding the differences between the comics and the MCU, with newly added
footnotes.
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Since I started writing MCU fic, I've been doing a lot of research into
the original comics. I tried reading some, but there are just too many of
them and nobody can agree on which ones are most important. Then I found a
DK publishing "everything you need to know" book - a broad summary
of all the greatest hits. As I went through it, I found myself thinking of
all the ways the MCU could have been different. Here are my notes about
the shit we might have gotten:
-a Black Widow that doesn't age and is as
invincible as Captain America because she was injected with a variation of
the same serum. (Seriously, the MCU did her so dirty).
-After taking shrapnel to the chest in an attack from villain Ezekiel
Stane, Tony is saved via questionable implant/Iron Man suit. Sorry, did I
say Tony? I meant Pepper.
-Actually Wanda and Vision are totally canon. They had kids and
everything. No, I have no idea how that is possible.(
1)
-Tony uses nanotech to store his armor UNDER HIS SKIN, which also gives
him increased strength and the ability to grow new organs. Wait...did he
actually do this in the MCU? (
2)
-Janet (the Wasp) fucks Hawkeye and decides to live in giant mode for a
while. No wait...nobody wants that one.
-Ant-Man takes a trip through Human Torch's bloodstream and briefly gains
the ability to shoot flames, making him...wait for it...Fire Ant Man.
-Thor rides in a chariot drawn by two giant, mutant, steroidal goats. (
3)
-Ragnarok as an evil clone Tony created from dead Thor's hair. Because he
missed him. Or readers did, anyway.(
4)
-Mjolnir deciding Thor is no longer worthy and choosing his former
girlfriend Jane instead.(
5)
-There is absolutely nothing wrong with Captain Marvel's story. It's
perfect.(
6)
-Shuri as Black Panther for the same reason Jane became Thor.(
7)
-Black Panther being married to Storm (but breaking up when the X-Men
destroy Wakanda).
-Scarlet Witch defeating Dormammu (after Doctor Strange finished screwing
with him until he agreed to leave Earth alone and Loki briefly teams with
him to get the Avengers and the Defenders to fight each other).(
8)
-Clea Strange is Dormammu's niece. Wait...what?(
8)
-Spider-Man losing his costume and needing to borrow Johnny Storm's,
complete with a paper bag over his head that says "kick me".
-Jessica Drew.
-Doctor Strange trying to revive his brother after he is killed and
turning him into a vampire.
-Wong being turned into a vampire. Seriously, what is it with Doctor
Strange and vampires? Maybe I should do that crossover with Only Lovers
Left Alive after all. Though this would probably have to include Blade and
Dracula which was apparently a thing. (
9)
-I would say Spider-Ham, but Into the Spider-Verse already did that and I
didn't want it then either.
-Devil Dinosaur.
-Drax punching through Thanos' ribcage and ripping his heart right out
(which Thanos notes is "interesting", presumably just before falling on
his face).
-Loki turning New York into ice cream. Yes, you read that right.(
10)
-Lady Loki.
-Scarlet Witch and Doctor Strange reversing good and evil to defeat Red
Skull and Loki weilding Mjolnir because now that he's a hero he's
"worthy".
-Iron Man time traveling to the land of King Arthur.(
11)
-On both lists of ways Thor and Loki can win against each other is "tell
dad". Specifically, Thor is supposed to tell him Loki is being a "naughty
boy". No word on whether this results in spanking.
-Thunderbolt Ross as Red Hulk and female versions of both red and green
Hulk.
-Lockjaw gaining superintelligence from the mind stone and forming the
Avengers pets into his own version of the Avengers. This includes a
dragon, a saber-toothed tiger and a male dog named Ms. Lion. (
12)
-The Guardians of the Galaxy are actually from the future and doesn't that
make so much more sense?
-Technically, Doctor Strange is one of the Defenders. As is Aquama...I
mean Namor. And the Hulk. And Valkyrie. And, in an alternate universe,
Loki.
-Maria Hill as the strongest director of SHIELD since Nick Fury.
-Historic members of SHIELD include Leonardo DaVinci, Isaac Newton and
Galileo.
-Fenris is totally supposed to be Loki's son. And Hela is his daughter.(
13)
-After Ragnarok, Thor recreates new Asgard...in Oklahoma.(
13)
-If Hela loses her cloak, the left side of her body becomes decayed.
-The Savage Land - a tropical jungle in the middle of Antarctica with
dinosaurs and other ancient creatures and humans.
-Wolverine and the Invisible Woman time-travel to kill Hank Pym before he
creates Ultron. They return to the present to find everything even worse
with evil cyborg Tony Stark in charge of everything and go back to fix it,
convincing Pym to put in a kill switch instead. All the time-traveling
creates a rip in time-space that collapses the multi-verse. In other
words: yes, time travel does work like in the movies in Marvelverse.